Guess what these are.

No, they’re not key necklaces, they’re sweet sweet candy.

The last time I did a release party, I got this half-sheet cake with the cover of the book printed on it. It was really cool, and made a great impression — but this time, I’m having *four* release parties, and frankly, I don’t have $150.00 to spend on cake right now, what with having just gone through an extended period of unemployment and all. So rather than bring nothing at all, I decided to shoestring it and bake some cool cupcakes.

Now, when Paul was doing his big Moped Army signing, we bought dark-brown cookies and did his MA logo on them in red frosting. They were kind of difficult to execute well, and since my key designs are more intricate than that, I knew I’d probably need a plan B. Going through Michael’s, I found some ready-made Fondant — which is that soft white stuff you see professional cake people using on Food Network to cover cakes with perfectly smooth coatings. After thinking quite a while about my plan of attack, I took one of the key necklaces and pushed it into a square of fondant, thereby making a food-safe negative mold. I dried it out in the food dehydrator, and the next day I started cranking out the little fondant keys. Once I’d pressed them, dried them a bit, carved off the excess and dried them again, I painted them with this edible silver stuff called “luster dust” to make them look all spiffy and metallic.

The only downside is that they don’t taste all that good. Well, they taste better than they did, because storebought, premade fondant tastes like modelling clay. I’m not kidding. It’s disgusting. So I mixed about half a bottle of mint extract in, and now they taste minty with just a hint of modelling clay as an aftertaste. Still, better than it was. Next time (If I am crazy enough to do this again) I’ll either buy fondant from a local cakemaker, or make it myself.

So. If you’re one of the lucky first three-dozen people to come by each signing (that’s a full gross of cupcakes, if you’re doing the math at home) you’ll get a tasty, freshly-baked cupcake with a not-so-tasty-but-really-cool-looking-and-still-quite-edible silvered sugar Vögelein key on top. Depending on which day you show up, you may get chocolate with vanilla frosting, vanilla with chocolate frosting, chocolate with chocolate frosting or vanilla with vanilla frosting.